There are few bigger changes in a person’s life than when they get divorced, which is probably why it’s not too uncommon for a divorce to be rung in with the purchase of a new car — provided you didn’t get taken to the cleaners by your spouse’s far-superior lawyers. You’ve got a new life, new priorities and even a new way you’d like to have yourself represented to the world, and that idea is what brings me to today’s question.
I want to know what car screams “I’m divorced!” What car lets everybody know that it didn’t work out between you and the missus (or mister)? While technically, yes, any car can be a divorced person’s car, that’s really not what I’m looking for today. I want to know what car leaves zero doubt that someone has to sit separately from his ex-wife at school functions for fear that there could be an incident.
I’m not going to be too much of a stickler about the car you pick, either. It can be new or used, because classic cars definitely have an air of divorce about them, too, and so do cheap used cars — especially if divorce court didn’t go your way.
My choice
For my pick for this question, I’m going with something new to keep it interesting. The answer to which car screams “I’m divorced!” is the Dodge Charger Sixpack R/T — the Hurricane inline-six-powered Dodge muscle car. Specifically, it has to be the two-door coupe, because you’re only seeing the kids on weekends, anyway. Why do you need easy access to the rear seats? Exactly.
The car has everything the modern divorced man needs: throwback looks to a time when their hair wasn’t thinning, a big enough trunk to hold the toys they’re going to bribe their kids with, and even a reasonable starting price at $51,990, including destination. Add in the 420 horsepower it produces and the fact it’ll do zero to 60 mph in 4.6 seconds (fast enough to outrun your demons and the alimony payments), and you’ve got a winner on your hands. Of course, you could always go for the more expensive Charger Sixpack Scat Pack, but court was never going to let you off the hook that easily, so you’ve got to save where you can.
Anyway, that’s enough out of me. How about you all head on down below and let your fellow Jalops know what cars scream “I’m divorced”? As always, I’ll love you more if you tell me why you made your pick.
